December 31, 2009
Goodbye, 2009
Okay, so here's a toast to all the good times that we had this past year. Much has happened and changed, I can't even begin to explain right now after a few sips with my friends.. but I must say that this had been a memorable year. Although there were many downs, there were also many ups that I cannot dismiss or forget.
Again, more to come tomorrow, perhaps... but lets say THANK YOU to 2009. So long, farewell.. its time to say goodbye! You will be gone, but not forgotten.
*hugs*
December 30, 2009
A Rainy Day...
Instead, we are going to get some errands done. YAYYYY!!
Taco Tuesday last night with Lily and Durand... then they came over to watch the Lakers' game at our place while I was trying to distract them with some of my favorite music videos. LOL!
Okay... just wanted to say HELLO to the universe somehow, someway...! I shall be back later... or soon... maybe! We shall see!
Hope everyone has a great day and is ready to bring on the New Year! (Glad we didn't go to Vegas. I'm pooped!)
December 29, 2009
My FAVORITE brush!
Yes, I do realize that its $42 for a full sized brush. BUT... if you find it in a set (usually the anniversary or half yearly sale at Nordstrom or other MAC stores), then jump on it right away! Sure, its $49.50, but you get 5 brushes (usually) and if it comes with this duo fibre brush, then you can't go wrong. TRUST ME! I have tried a few other "duo fibre" brushes, but they are just not the same. People use these for powders... which works great! But personally, I like it for liquid foundation because it gives you a nice, soft blend and it doesn't cake on thick like how most other brushes that are made for liquid foundations. If you are looking for something to apply a heavy look, this might not be for you, but it is for someone who wants something light and natural looking.
New Years' Resolution #1
I'll have more, but my first one will be...
There... I said it! And now, I have to really stick to it! Ahhhh...
MORE to come later! Got some things to work on today. Ciao!
December 28, 2009
PRIME... all the TIME!
One of the products that I won was this:
I fell in LOVE with it and it was the first time I had ever used a face primer and since then, I swear by face primers! They really do make a huge difference and they are great to wear alone!
After spending how much ever dollars at Sephora, I was rewarded with a sample.... and one of them was this:
Okay... I found a new love! The other day while I was at Sephora, I treated myself to a full bottle of this baby and am currently stroking my face as I type this! (You're welcome for the visuals... lol) I love the feel of it because its so silky feeling and absorbs so well!
Don't get me wrong... I love the Smashbox primer still, but I go through those things so quickly that it can get really expensive! Another thing that I don't like about both of these is the packaging. You usually can't use it to the last drop unless you are lucky enough to find it in a pressure type of pump (not the regular one, but the one that actually literally pushes the product out of there). Good luck with that!
Anyway, I highly recommend both of these, but if you are like me and want to save a few bucks, go with Tarte! They're both fabulous but I feel that the Smashbox one is lighter if you don't want anything too heavy. However, the Tarte one is extra smooth and silky feeling and the heavier side might be beneficial for those with rough/dry spots on your face (like me around my nose area).
Let me know what you think about them! Happy face priming!
I Trick You!
Avatar Day... highly anticipated and so worth it!
December 27, 2009
I Run To You...
Not too long ago, I heard this song and thought that it was beautiful. I never got a chance to look up the video or anything but for some reason, I woke up early this morning thinking about it and so I youtubed it and fell even more in love with the song... and the video. I can't seem to find the music video that allows embedding, so here is a good ol' traditional link to the video on youtube:
I hope you enjoy it as much as you do. And trust me... the video is pretty touching but it doesn't make me depressed. You get it? I love country music... if you can't already tell by my wedding's 'first dance' and 'father/daughter dance' songs. :D
Dig or no dig?
December 26, 2009
Hope... my new obsession!
After trying a small sample of this, I was in love:
I just HAD to go back and get some more because it was something that really worked for my dry skin that seemed to be more of a problem in cold weather (as it is for most). Its the only thing that really keeps my nose area hydrated all day long without making my face feel sticky, heavy, or icky. I love this thing!! I admit... the smell isn't very pleasant, but you get kind of used to it and its not that bad after awhile considering the miracles that its doing for my skin, bring on a skunk and I'd be okay with it! (Okay not really)
Its a moisturizer that hydrates, exfoliates, and protects... what more can you ask for? LOVE it!
If you haven't already, give it a try and let me know what you think because personally, I love it! Sure, its a bit more expensive than the moisturizers that I can afford, but it really is an investment if I only have to use a quarter as much prodct as I would my usuals. And to find something that actually works? Priceless!!
Have you tried it? Use it? Love it? Hate it? What do you think! Do share!
Cheapo Thydo!
Anyway... handbags... is an accessory! It is nice to have nice things (such as handbags), but what is really the purpose of that when you really wouldn't have any real value in there anyway? I mean... would you really spend more than you have on a handbag and then really not have a dime to your name left in there? I think not. Besides... again, its an accessory, people! I guess I shouldn't really single people out for liking nice handbags, but I guess I just see it differently.
First off, I don't want to pay more money to promote for a company that is in actuality, really jipping me. You would think that companies would be more likely to give you a discount to promote for them rather than charge you more for a right to promote for them. Makes sense? Anyway... my point is that I am too damn cheap to spend an arm and a leg for a handbag. I like to switch things up and in this case, quantity over quality! :D I can't live with just one bag for the rest of my life... I need variety! That is why I always opt for the less expensive bags so that I can afford 10 of them rather than 1. You get it?
One bag that I am currently contemplating is this:
I think its cute, simple, inexpensive, and I don't have a navy bag... yet! I love satchels... a big bag type of girl because I like to carry everything that I own everywhere with me. Haha... what do you think? (You can click on the image to see more pictures and views because this one probably doesn't do it all its justice) Likey or no likey?
I'll probably try to check it out at my nearest Nordstrom today. We shall see. Sis is bringing me shopping... gotta love that, right? ;)
Away from Home on the Holidays
Next year though, it will be different and I am going to be home for Christmas no matter what. I will make it up to everyone then.
For everyone else, I really hope that you enjoyed your time with your loved ones and cherished every moment and every individual. Don't take them for granted and especially don't take the precious quality time for granted. Trust me.
On a lighter note, my Christmas this year was mellow and something that I am not used to... but it was still nice. Its always nice to see people smiling, laughing, and most importantly, happy.
My 17 year old niece came by for her presents later. Its amazing how much she had grown and matured over the years. Its hard to accept the fact that in only a few months, she will become a legal adult... scary thought. I may not express my love for my older nieces and nephews as much, but I still care for them and love them deeply. I just can't "mother" them like how I do with the younger ones because I never did to begin with when they were younger so its hard to just "mother" them at such an older age. I wouldn't want to anyway... teenagers are a lot different to deal with than kids. They know too much for their own good.
Family, I miss and love you... so so so much.
Old Indulgences
I noticed that I was wearing something that I've had for years and seems to still be on the market. Its one of my old, wreckless indulgences that I soon after regret making the purchase of but later learned how to appreciate it more and more. Its my Mike & Chris lambskin leather jacket!
And yes, Jenn sort of raided my closet, but as you can see, all my clothes are just way too big for her. That skinny mini!
Anyway, although I've had this jacket for years, I still love it and wear it often. Someone once asked to buy it from me for half the price (which was quite a bit), but I just couldn't part with it.
Curious? Its here... just that mine is in a dark brown rather than the black that is shown here:
I would never even pay 1/10th the price of that jacket on a jacket nowadays... not even close. I'm a lot smarter and poorer than that now. Anyway, I am considering selling it, but I doubt anyone would still be interested although stars like Megan Fox and Miley Cyrus, and so many more are all rockin' the Mike & Chris now... but I don't know if I could ever part with it. If anyone is interested, let me know. Its a size small, but for some reason, it feels bigger than that.
Oh man, I don't know if I could even part with it anyway. Forget about this post... screw it!! :( I don't part with objects that I love very easily. *sigh*
December 23, 2009
Wake up and smell the flowers... even if its rotten.
The first thing I usually do is check for updates and news hoping to see good news, but I am often left disappointed. I don't know why I do this knowing that I am a scared chicken, but I can't help myself. I like to know whats going on... especially real things that are happening or have happened because you never know what is waiting for you around the corner (literally and figuratively). My heart is still in Washington and maybe that is why I am more cautious and aware of things going on over there than over here in California. Most of my Family is back in Washington, of course I am concerned! These recent crimes resulting in death are just too close to home that I feel this ache in my heart as I learn about each one of them. I don't try to be a pessimist with these situations. In fact, I was usually known as the optimistic one in any situation, but I guess real life is just hitting me... hitting me hard.
I watched the 15 Most Unthinkable Crimes and am now watching the 20 Shocking Unsolved Crimes. Some of these crimes are just unbelievable and heartbreaking. What scares me most is knowing that some of these crimes are not yet solved so those sickening murderers are still on the loose and walking the streets. Not to overanalyze, but its only natural for me to do so... but can you imagine how many other people are out there with these sickening thoughts and the possibilities that crimes such as these can and will happen again?
The world is a scary place and I understand that we should not stop our lives because these things are happening, but we should also be very cautious and aware of our surroundings. It is important to learn what is going on with our communities and keep everyone (not just those that we care about) informed on what is going on. You never know who/what will strike next and who the next victim will be. Therefore, lets try our best to keep our communities safe and aware. This is the least that anyone can do. You can't point at a person and deem them the next murderer, but you sure can remind people to be more observant and aware of what is going on so that they can avoid dangerous situations that are life threatening.
Its great to be optimistic and see the goods and positives of life, but we also have to be realistic and accept that we live in a twisted society. Are these type of behaviors and cases welcome? Of course not, but it seems to find its way in regardless. I'm not saying that we should put our lives on pause and dwell over it, but just keep it in mind and don't forget. Sadness, sorrow, and death are also parts of each life. Don't ever take a moment or person for granted... its hard (if even possible) to take back.
Mmmm... hmmm!
December 21, 2009
Its Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas!!
Sam already gave me my early Christmas present! How wonderful is he? Thanks sweetheart! He really is the best! He could have easily gotten me a purse, a pair of shoes, a pair of earrings, a jacket... oh wait... he already got me all those things regardless for no particular reason or occasion. (Oops!) This is far more thoughtful and useful for me... and I am forever grateful! Love that man with all my heart... *sigh*.
Procrastination is a... not a good thing. Christmas cards shall acquaint themselves with the mailbox and mailmen (or women) today! I love getting cards and was never really good at being a card sender, but I am determined to change that soon. We're all so caught up with technology and so dependent on it that it is always a pleasant surprise to get a thoughtful card in the mail (by that, I don't mean email) every now and then. I am inspired by my friend Judy from San Francisco. She never fails to put a smile on my face with her sweet and personal cards that obviously take a lot of time, effort, and thoughts. She's the sweetest... I miss her! Maybe one of these days, we'd pay her and Mike a visit? I hope that time comes soon!
Anyway, I hope everyone has a great hustle and bustle before Christmas type of day today, tomorrow, and the day after that! Then, I hope everyone enjoys their holidays with the ones that they love. Though the ones that I love most are so far away, they are always closest to my heart and I know that I am to theirs. No doubt about it! I love my Family... I really do.
*hugs*
December 19, 2009
My Current Want/Need/Must Have
December 17, 2009
Clear Space, Clear Mind
December 16, 2009
Touched
by ERIC WILKINSON / KING 5 News
Posted on December 15, 2009 at 6:13 PM
MONROE, Wash. - It's a cold and unforgiving place - a place you'd expect to find nothing but bitterness and hatred toward police. But at the Monroe State Reformatory, the heartless killings of four Lakewood police officers are softening even the most hardened criminals.
"The first thing that went through my mind was, 'oh no, not again'," said triple murderer Tony Wheat, who killed three gas station clerks during robberies 44 years ago and who is serving a life sentence at Monroe.
He's part of a prison organization called "Concerned Lifers" where those serving life terms try to mentor young convicts and keep them from reoffending. Wheat says the Lakewood killings shocked many inside the reformatory's walls.
"We thought, maybe it's about time we start showing some appreciation and concerns, and doing what little we can and show that even though we are removed from society, we are a part of it," he said.
Wheat and a small group of convicts, most of whom will never set foot outside the prison's walls, are now organizing a fund for the families of the Lakewood officers.
Lifer Herb Blumer earns less than 50 cents an hour making furniture for state offices. He wants to give all he can to the cause, realizing in a case like this it really is the thought that counts.
"I felt that this donation might be a message to let them know that we share their grief and we share their pain," he said.
Maurice Clemmons executed four Lakewood police officers as the say sipping coffee and going over reports earlier this month, leaving nine children without one of their parents.
Inmates say they want to honor the officers' families with donations, but also their legacies by making sure another Maurice Clemmons doesn't come out of Monroe.
Three-strikes felon Curtis Caton says there are plenty of prisoners who are indifferent or even happy about the Lakewood murders. And those are precisely the people he wants to get to donate to the cause.
"Then we can hopefully change them and say 'look, you don't want to be like that. There's a better life for you out there'," he said.
With lifetimes yet to serve in prison, these fundraisers have little to gain in their cause. They simply hope to help heal broken lives... and perhaps themselves as well.
"When that cell door closes on your cage at night, day after day, year after year, you think about the impact your crime had on the victims," said Blumer. "This is a way to seek redemption. It's a way to give back and atone for the things that you've done."
Losing track of time...
December 14, 2009
25 and so ALIVE!!
December 11, 2009
I'm So Young and You're So Old!
Am I losing my hair? No really... am I losing my hair? I don't mean it metaphorically either... I mean literally... AM I LOSING MY HAIR? Waking up to a few strands of hair on the pillow is fine and its really nothing to really worry about or fuss over. BUT... what if I run my fingers through my hair and although it runs smoothly with no knots or tangles in the way, I find what seems to be a handful between my fingers. Sickening, isn't it? I know that its natural to lose hair as we age and also as we stress... but this is just too much. I used to scare all the hairdressers away as I walk into the door because my hair was just too thick for anyone to like to work on because it takes three times as long as other people's hair. You wouldn't be able to grab ALL of my hair with one hand either... I hated it. I used to wish that my hair was thin and soft like most of my friends' hair. I guess this is one of those times when the good ol' "be careful what you wish for" saying holds truth. BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR! I know that this all sounds superficial and there are many other concerns in the world, but really... you'd be lying if you said you didn't think twice about your appearance. Moreover, I am starting to wonder if this is a health concern. Or maybe its just paranoia and the thought of getting old and wrinkly and hairless is taking over me? Who knows?
Usually I'd be excited for my birthday. This time around, not so much. I teased all of my friends who are older every now and then, especially the ones who turn 25 not too long before me. I would tell them that its downhill from there and that they are now part of the old farts' club and although their insurance is cheaper, its totally not worth the wrinkles and saggy skin. They'd tell me that I'm getting there too, but I refused to accept it. It hit me the night before my birthday that I really am getting old! I used to look at 22 year olds and think that they were ancient because I believed I would be 16 for the rest of my life and I don't see myself getting any older. Now, I am beyond 22... meaning I am beyond old. You know what that means? That means that I am really really old. (No offense to those reading and older than me) Sam tried to butter me up to the fact that the next day was my birthday, but I was not having it and instead got into tears at the thought of it. I know it sounds stupid and I don't know the true reason why I got so emotional, but I did. I actually applied night cream and anti aging cream on my face because I can already feel like I'm getting OLD. At 11:45pm that night, I went to bed because I wanted to savor a few more hours of being 24. Haha... its silly now that I think about it now. Sam woke me up at midnight to wish me a Happy Birthday... grrr!!
He took that next day off (on my birthday) and brought me out to lunch and then to go get a nice hour long full body massage. It was my first time ever getting a massage from someone I didn't know... and it was an older man! How uncomfortable, but luckily Sam was right next to me getting a massage too. It was nice and relaxing... but I think that Sam does a better job at times... although his massage sessions last no longer than 3 minutes. What a punk! The massage was much needed followed by some good ol' shopping! You know that always makes me feel happy, but at the same time, I questioned myself and wondered if I dress to young for my age since I see teenagers dressing the same way I do often times. BLAH.
He made reservations at this place called The Sky Room in Long Beach and I found out... and made him cancel the reservations! I know that he was just trying to be sweet and bring me to a nice place on my birthday, but I can't justify letting him spend $35 - $50 on a piece of steak that probably doesn't taste too much better than ones he can cook himself... and thats not even including any salads or appetizers that come with it. HELL NO. I told him that I'd be a LOT happier if we just went and got sushi... and we did! Guess how much our bill was! About $30.. and thats for the both of us and we were stuffed and satisfied! I told him that the rest of the money that he would have spent on our meal at The Sky Room can go towards my Yogurtland fund! Call me cheap, but our bill would have easily ran over $100... probably $150 if we order wine at the nice restaurant which I'm sure Sam would have considering the occasion and the nice place. Again, HELL NO. Maybe I am getting more mature... or maybe I just get cheaper and cheaper by the minute? Either way... I'm glad I refused The Sky Room because... do you know how many things I can get with that money? LOL... I really am looking forward to my yogurtland trips to come considering how much we saved!
The guys usually play basketball every Wednesday and since we were nearby with some time to kill, we stopped by the court. They all stopped to say Happy Birthday to me... how sweet! :D I tried to distract them and tease them every chance I got while watching them... and they knew how to push me away. By saying to me, "TEAM JACOB"! Oh heck no... I quit! LOL! Sam couldn't play since he didn't have his clothes and shoes. Thank goodness because it was freezing cold and I was ready to go home. Wait... we HAD to stop at Yogurtland. How could we not? And we did... and Sam and I hung out there for a bit and talked about some of the most random things ever... but it was nice! Then we realized that the Lakers game was on and I knew he wanted to see it... so we came home.
Overall, it was a nice birthday and I know that it was mellowed out, but that is all going to change tomorrow! I'm so excited for my birthday dinner with some of my coolest friends... and then of course, my cocktail party!! We'll see how it goes because it will be the first one we're throwing... or Sam is throwing for me! :D Did I mention that my best friend Jenn is flying down here with her fiance? Yup... they get in at... well... they'll be here in about 13 hours! I'm so excited and can't wait to see them! We'll do some celebrating tonight after we pick them up at the airport... then its all up in the air from there! Whatever we do, I just know we're going to have a great time! She called me early that morning to sing to me... and she said she practiced for an hour! HAHA... its this thing that we usually do to each other... more like a competition to see who can sing the ugliest version of that song. Every year, it just gets uglier. I don't know how she's gonna top it next year! Hehe... love her!
Oh... did I mention that it was very nice to wake up to see so many texts and emails and messages... and close to a million Facebook comments!! Okay... not really a million, but I felt like it was pretty close and it did make my day and make me feel special. Of course, most of them only knew because of the Facebook reminders thing, but thats okay because I will admit that I don't remember all my friends' birthdays although I'm trying. Sometimes, its just a simple and easy gesture that can really make a difference. My friends are awesome... and that includes my Facebook ones! Haha!
I guess nothing has changed when it comes to my writing even though I am "older". Some things just don't change, I guess! Ranns told me that I will always be a kid at heart and thats what makes me special and thats what people love about me. She's sweet for saying it... I only hope that its true. Let me know if that changes, kay?
More to come later... but I really need to get some things done for my weekend. The list is longer than the neck of a giraffe and I have yet to cross anything off as FINISHED on that list. Ugh.
I HAVE SO MUCH MORE TO SAY THOUGH... DAMMIT!
By the way... there will be some changes coming soon and something to look forward to by next weekend. With too many things going on and so many projects I want to accomplish, I find myself spreading myself so thin that I can't just get one thing done with all the distractions. After this weekend, its FOCUS time! I've learned a lot these past couple of months and have gained a lot of interest. Where is the time stopper when I need it most?
Anyway... I hope everyone has a great weekend and stay warm out there! I know that its freezing in Washington and its pretty wet here (although rain seemed to stop for now). *hugs*
December 8, 2009
Fallen Lakewood Police Officers Memorial
Its bittersweet to see that there are people all over the world, police officers in particular there to show their love and support to the family, friends, and fellow officers of the fallen. There are many who flew up from Oakland and Los Angeles amongst other police departments around the country to show their respect for our fallen heroes. Its sad to lose loved ones... officers or not. Its just heart breaking to know that these are innocent people who were working to keep our people and communities safe, yet their lives were taken in such a senseless and cruel way. I hope that this will work as a wake up call for everyone that they need to have respect and appreciation for those in law enforcement. They are not just there to give you a hard time, they are there to try to protect us to the best of their ability. Even before this tragedy, I was always annoyed whenever people didn't show appreciation for those who genuinely cared for our well being... such as police officers.
They will always be remembered and honored... may their heroic souls rest in peace. My thoughts are with their loved ones today.
FMAO!!
I can't believe it can be this cold in California! I spoke to my Mom last night and she told me that it was ridiculously cold up there too. I can tell by the tweets from my still Washingtonian buddies!
Its beginning to look a lot like Christmas! Or... its beginning to feel a lot like Christmas! I will miss being at home for the holidays this year... but maybe there will be some miracle and we'll end up being up there afterall!
Plans for my birthday are done! Well, for Saturday at least. I'm looking forward to it, but really hope that it all goes well and everyone has a good time. I'm stuck at a weird age where I can't decide if I want to party hardy or mellow out... and this should be the in betweeney! I definitely need to figure out what I'll wear though since I'm making it a point to dress up for everyone. HAHA! I'm going to be really upset if someone doesn't stick to the theme because it can't get any easier than that!
Jenny's birthday is today and she's in Disneyland (lucky her)! I should have just made Sam take the day off as he had planned, but now its probably too late. I wonder where he's bringing me for our date! My birthday gift was a shopping spree... he knew I wouldn't be happier with anything else since we have different taste in almost everything (I'm serious!). I already enjoyed most of my shopping spree... haha... but maybe it will continue tomorrow? *fingers crossed* I almost had to stay home alone last night while he works a 16 hour shift, but thank goodness he didn't have to stay for the full. YAYYYY!
Ever wondered what draws people to making up bizarre stories for no reason? Two girlfriends and I had lunch last week and we just pieced together some of the most crazy stories you'd ever hear from anyone. Why they do it? Well... we came up with a conclusion! It seems that the people who these stories are told to are people like myself... gullible and easily amused! I think people get a kick or a high off of my reaction or something. One of the girls is very much like me (I'm sure most can figure it out) and there's so many situations where we are together and we get told some of the craziest things anyone had ever heard! Don't lie... because then, you're going to have to make up more lies to cover those lies and so on and so forth. Down the road, you're not going to remember what you told because they were all lies lies lies. It took us awhile to figure it all out, but now, we're even more amused at not your stories, but your behavior! *giggles*
Guys... sometimes they just don't understand, do they? Their way of thinking is so different from ours and they just don't get it! Ugh... so frustrating at times but at the end of the day, thats what keeps it interesting. (I guess)
I'm tired of hearing about Tiger Woods... but I am so amused (and still laughing) at the fact that he's not a Tiger, he's a Cheetah... but at least he ain't Lion!! HAHAHA... get it? OMG... I am such a dork for sitting here laughing at this line over and over... and its been weeks since I first heard it. LOL. Cheaters... Liars... WOW.
December 7, 2009
Rain, rain... go away!
Christmas shopping is bogus! I have more fun shopping year round than I do around Christmas. I am obviously a bargain hunter and its rare that I pay full price for anything if I can help it. (Yes... and I'm proud of it... thanks!) It seems like the stores have been jacking up the price and the items that are usually 75% OFF are now 25% OFF with a bigger sign that says SALE. Yet, people seem to buy, buy, buy because they have to since Christmas is creeping up faster than most of us would hope. Ugh. I hate shopping during this time of year! I vow to never wait to Christmas shop in December ever again... unless its on Christmas Eve or the day before when stores REALLY need to get rid of their stuff! Now, I have another excuse to shop throughout the year! :D
Okay... so enough of that! Kunthea, one that doesn't usually like to mingle or celebrate his birthday was in for a surprise when we did a little something something for him. He would have been upset if we went all out but since the guys were coming for their Friday usual anyway, we turned it up a notch and used his birthday as an excuse to celebrate and eat fatty foods and cheesecake! Then on Saturday, we celebrated Paline's birthday over dinner, dessert (yum), and some good ol' Taboo! Oh man... that game can get very competitive and sometimes violent! I don't think they'd ever let me live down the time I almost knocked Sam out with my elbow back in 2006 because he was hovering over me and trying to distract me during such an intense game. Even this time around, I caught myself yelling and even at times threatening people. I need to control my anger and remind myself that its only a game. A FUN game, that is! I love it when everyone gets into it... it makes things more fun and enjoyable. Definitely a bonding moment despite the threats and the insults. Sore losers? I think not! OH... and get this... we were Team Edward VS Team Jacob! WTF! I was loving it though! Team Edward... Blood Suckers... OH YEAH!!
I'm looking forward to having my Jenn & Joe here for the weekend to celebrate the fact that I'm getting old. 25... thats a lot. I remember thinking people who were 22 are old! Damn! Husband asked me out on a date for my actual birthday. I have no idea what we're doing or where we're going, but its supposedly a surprise. I hope I don't ruin it for myself this time. I'm excited though! Just hope that this rain goes away! Looking forward to hanging out with friends to celebrate getting old again with the friends I have down here. I've mellowed out a lot... and I really like that about myself. Hehehe... I go through my phases, so we'll see. Birthdays only come around once a year. Well, for most of us anyway... haha... my Sister celebrates like three different birthdays. WTF! But yeah... definitely something to celebrate and a great excuse to gather the loved ones for a good ol' time!
December 5, 2009
Distraught
The slaying of the four Lakewood police officers shook me... my heart ached as I learned more about the heartless murder. Although I do not know the victims personally, I know what it is like to lose a loved one. To lose someone that you held so dearly to your heart in this way is such a tragedy and my thoughts and prayers go out to their loved ones.
I will not go into detail on the story because there are many articles written and reports that are more credible than mine and it also brings back painful thoughts trying to tell the story again. Please, if you are interested, it is a story worth researching and reading about. However, I am not afraid to express my own personal opinions about the nightmare that is unfortunately a reality. How someone can have such a cruel heart is beyond me and I am frightened to know that there are such people out there right now... everywhere. I understand that there are personal problems and possibly mental and health issues that drew people to do what they do, but that is where professional help comes in. They are there for a reason and living in a world with endless resources, this should not be an excuse or a reason to take issues so lightly.
The fact that innocent lives were taken and many other innocents were at risk of the same danger is what worries me the most. What also got me drawn deeper into this story and was at the edge of my seat during and even days after the incident(s) was the fact that it happened so close to home. I know that I need to face reality and understand that the world is not perfect nor will it ever be, but this one really hit home... literally. Knowing that the killer was still on the loose for days and could have been anywhere and learning later that he was no more than 10 miles away from my Parents' house at one point and only a few miles away from my relatives' houses at other points made me numb. I was scared, worried, and couldn't seem to do anything else but continue to follow the intense story and kept up with all the live updates continuously to make sure that my loved ones amongst others are safe. I know that being a thousand of miles away, there is not much that I can do but to relay the information that I know to those that are in danger so that they are aware.... and pray. I lost sleep and at random times cried thinking about what could happen and might be happening. I was told that I was paranoid and worried too much, but how could I not?
I was relieved to know that the killer was found and shot dead a few days later by a hero that could have easily been a fifth victim... but I can't help but continue to worry. There were people who were helping him run and hide even after learning that he in fact killed four innocent police officers. I understand that Family comes first and blood runs thicker than water, but knowing that the person did such a thing, you have to realize that there is no way out. Take responsibility for your own actions and you should help them do the same. The outcome may not be what you want, but those are the consequences that you'd have to face for what you've done. Life isn't fair... take the fallen innocents for example. If the man responsible, Maurice Clemmons, did the right thing and turned himself in or his family did, he might still be alive now and may be able to get his story out (although I don't think its very deserving, but others would probably get answers and not have to continue to wonder and guess for very long) and his family would not be facing these unnecessary convictions. I guess some would rather die than go back to prison, but that still doesn't make things better for those who cared about you. And to know that there are people out there who are supportive of him and his actions and would have the audacity to say that they would have helped the murderer and excuses him for what he'd done because he "had his reasons"... it scares me. Those people could also potentially be a menace to society.
In another case, a dead body was found in the Puyallup River in Fife, a small town that is next door to where my parents live. This was only a few days after the slaying of the officers, but I wonder if these cases are related in any way. Then to know that a black rose was left at the Tacoma Police Department by an unknown person got me even more paranoid. I don't know how others see it and I know we all see it differently, but black roses are not a good sign in my opinion. It is usually given to the dead or a sign of revenge. I take it as a threat, but I guess there are others who take it as a kind gesture to show support. That is strange to me because this rose was not left at the memorial that they had for the fallen nor was it left at the Lakewood Police Department... but at the Tacoma Police Department where the family and friends of the killer reside. Also, the killer had an intention of killing police officers... that was his main target. Am I the only one who can add up these pieces together and take it as a threat and am worried? Maybe I am looking too much into it or I am just paranoid, but I don't think that these little things should be bypassed or taken lightly after such a horrific event. But hey... what can I do? I am not there and I am not a professional investigator or detective (although I usually like to pretend that I am and believe that I would be a great one if I wasn't such a chicken). Either way, I just pray that this will be the end of it and will be a lesson to many. May it be a wake up call for all of us to understand that things and people we love the most can be taken from us without a warning or mercy. Lets not take the things and people we love for granted and just like the title of my blog, cherish the moments. Hold those you love closest to your heart and don't hesitate to tell them what they mean to you and thank them constantly because it never hurt anyone to show appreciation for you never know if you'd be given another opportunity to do so.
May the souls of the fallen rest in peace and may love, comfort, and thoughts be with their loved ones during these times.