I Miss You...

My Husband woke me up the other morning because I was crying in my sleep.  Though I wasn't fully asleep anymore, I still felt the sadness from my dream because it wasn't only just a dream to me.

I dreamt of my Grandmother.  I miss her and think about her often, but its been awhile since she last visited me in my dreams.  There she was laying on the couch in my old house, covered in a blanket and watching TV.  She only had one blanket over her and I wanted to make sure that she was warm and cozy enough.  I told her that she should be warmer and she tried to reach for the other blanket at the end of her feet.  She was barely able to move, but she moved a lot more than I last remember her.  I walked over and pulled the blanket to cover her more.  Looking at her, I knew that my time left with her wasn't much.  I took her in my arms and hugged her tight and kept whispering to her telling her that I love her.  I felt the warmth from her at first, but slowly she started to drift further from me and I started to cry.  I didn't want to let her go and I just wanted to make sure that she knows that I love her and will miss her when she's gone.  I couldn't stop the tears in my dreams. 

I woke up. 

Though I could stop the tears when I was awake, I allowed myself to cry some more.  My heart still ached because she was no longer in my life.  It was somewhat of a release of the emotions I've felt from missing her so much for so long.

In my dreams, she acknowledged the fact that I loved her.  She nodded to tell me that she knows that I love her.  I feel like she came to visit me in my dreams to let me know that she knows that I miss her.  Why?  I don't know... but I am glad to know that she knows.  And I was glad to see her again, even if it was only in my dreams.

I miss you, Grandma. I love you.