November 23, 2010

Thoughts of CLONING Myself!

Two weeks ago, I got the scary call that my Mom was being rushed to the hospital.  The only thing on my mind was that I needed to be there... and off I went with my Sister. 

It was pretty much the same thing that happened last time... a congested heart failure.  Thank goodness this time around, they called for an ambulance instead of trying to drive her to the hospital like last time.  They almost sedated her and put her in a coma (like last time), but luckily, her heart started beating again and they didn't have to put her through it. 

Nothing felt better and warmer than being by my Mother's side, finally.  The two hour flight felt like two years and I couldn't have wanted to get there sooner.  It was almost like a miracle how fast she recovered.  My Mom is a strong woman and is such a fighter... she had always been.  My Husband talked to her over the phone (he would have flew out there as well, but she was in an 'ok' state and it wasn't necessary for him to do so at the time) and broke down because of my mom's kind, yet strong words to him. 

It was a bittersweet feeling to be there with her... I was so glad to be there, but I just wish it was under different circumstances.  Though my Mother is the one that is sick in the hospital bed, I also worry about my Dad and his health and worries.  I hate to admit it, but I am slowly accepting the fact that my Parents aren't as young and healthy as they used to be.  Knowing and thinking this scares and worries me.  I am still a baby when it comes to my Parents and my Family.  I always thought that my Family was invincible and nothing could go wrong and we'd always be together... but reality is starting to hit.  I hate it.

I loved sleeping next to my Mom again, I just wished she wasn't in the hospital bed.  Heck... would have been great if we weren't in the hospital at all.  I hate hospitals.  I know its a great place where a lot of heros have spent countless hours trying to make people feel better, but I just hate the thoughts of negative things that happens there.

Finally, my Mommy got to come home and was recovering.  She is still being closely monitored, of course... and there are a lot of things that she and the family has to watch out for.  We are all learning things as we go along on this ride, but I just wish we didn't have the worries that we do.  *sigh*

I wanted to stay longer because nothing is better than the feeling of being with my loved ones, but my Mom insisted that she will be okay and I should get back to California.  This is what I love and hate the most about my Mom... she is selfless.  I love it because that is rare to find in a person, but I wish she would just be a little selfish every once in a while and let us take care of her like how she took care of us.  She never wants us to worry about her or put her first... and I hate that. 

I hate seeing the worry in my Dad's eyes.  Though my Parents may have had their down times (I think every couple does), I still have yet to witness stronger love.  8 children later, and they are still in love.  Tough love, it may... but still love, nonetheless.

I came back to California, but my Sister is staying until mid December when I head back for the holidays, so that eases my mind a little.  I know that I shouldn't worry too much since my Parents do have 6 other children still living in Washington, but it just gives me a peace of mind to be closer.  *sigh*  Why can't I just be in two places at once?  WHY?

Having thoughts of cloning myself... if I only knew how!

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