June 19, 2007

My Addiction

Today Grace asked me if I can be a little bit more discreet about my loser status or at the very least, not be so proud. Haha... I thought that it was a hilarious request and got me chuckling at my desk like crazy. Its kind of hard for me to do either since anyone who had ever been on the beloved KhmerConnection can already conclude that I am quite a "LOSER" since I am on this darn thing what seems to be 24/7. I have no shame in admitting this. The cyber world's only limit is that you can't experience the things you encounter in the real world (ie. places, people, things, senses, etc.), but thats where your imagination come into play. Maybe I'm still stuck in my younger years mentality where imagination is everything, but I can honestly say that I am intrigued by this 1 dimensional world... or is it?

I like how I can express myself on here and how I can share my thoughts and opinions with others. Sure, there are some who object to certain things I say and there are many who would oppose to it automatically. Why? Because people are bound to have differences in opinions and so it should always be expected that not everyone is going to agree with you... and I for one, can accept that fact and move on. The freedom of speech is just that... everyone is free to say what ever it is that they feel. People have walked different paths in life and will most certainly have a different perspective on certain things... thats just the way it is. It is encouraged that we all share how we feel so that we can each learn a thing or two from one another, but there is no point in going out of your way to try to get people to view things the way you do. I believe that each person has their reason for having their mindset the way it is and who are we to determine what's right and what's wrong? Opinions are just that... opinions. If you ask for someone's opinion, I sure hope that you are ready to accept ALL opinions... those similar to yours and those that are anything but similar to yours. I can understand if someone feels degraded or demeaned by their decisions and what they choose to do with themselves and their lives, but I advise they don't forget that there is bound to be someone who will speak out of ignorance. Thats just the way they are and I commend anyone for trying to help enlighten them, but it later grows pointless to even waste your efforts. Blah...

Nevertheless... I am amused, intrigued, and few times enlightened by what I read here daily. Its so addicting and anyone who had given it a chance can probably see why. I also don't blame anyone for being turned off by some of the things they may see at first because a lot of it is nonsense that I admit to contribute to... haha! I see KC as just a place where people can sit back and enjoy themselves and through the forums, participate in different discussions. Some are worth reading, and some are going to leave you pissed off for even clicking on the thread. I've met a lot of wonderful people through here and maybe that is why I appreciate it so much. It keeps me occupied and often times had even forced me to change me plans or not do what I intended to do because I am so hooked. Loser, I know. I see this as a big ol' community... just like the real world. We meet people and share our experiences and our thoughts if we choose to. We learn little things about each other which help us get an idea of what the person is really like in the real world. Although I appreciate genuine people who are going to be honest on here, I can't be angry or upset with people who choose to portray themselves as something they're not either. I mean... we're all on here for different reasons and I believe that there are certain people who come on here and use this forum as an outlet for their ego to run wild and have a ball since they can't do so in the real world. As Bong Saw (Bong K's boyfriend) had said, "anyone can be a supermodel online". It is so true! What we know about a person is very limited and we'll have to base our perception of them by what we see and read. I guess thats their choice and if they're happy doing so, then so be it. This is why I choose not to get so upset with certain individuals whom I believe are on here for that reason. Do as you wish... I just know that I personally choose to be myself and will portray myself to be exactly how I really am. What you see, is what you get. Those that know me and know me well... and have actually taken the time and effort to get to know me, can attest to this. Believe as you may, because it is not my duty or my desire to make you believe what I know.

As much as I love and am devoted to my 5 years and counting addiction, I do admit that I need to find other interests. Five years is a long period of time... and I am starting to think that I have read and said almost everything that can possibly be shared here. If it wasn't for certain wonderful people that I would like to keep in touch with and sometimes observe, it would probably be easier for me to leave. I often meet new people on here though, and I sometimes build a friendship and grow attached to them. Therefore, it would be hard for me to leave permanently... so I don't think anyone should expect me to. For many, that is probably a disappointment... and I apologize... but that's how its gonna be, my dear!

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