November 10, 2009

To friend, or not to friend??

We meet so many different people in our lives. Some we love, and some we hate. Some we respect, and some we despise. Some stay in our lives longer than most, and some just walk on by. Each person was brought into our lives for a reason... either the reason is to teach us a lesson or was just to fill up empty spaces, there was a reason.

I will admit, I am often foolish and naive and quick to befriend anyone and everyone. My problem is that I trust people too easily and can tell one my life story only thirty short minutes after meeting them. This, I've got to stop.

I consider many people my friends... but I think that I need to reevaluate and differentiate friends from acquaintances. I am finally starting to realize and sense who are true to me and who care about me... and slowly able to point out who is fake to me or who is only there in my life for their own selfish reasons. They were brought into my life for a reason as well... and that reason is that they were here to teach me a lesson. I may be fooled and you might still fool me now, but I will catch on... no doubt.

When it comes to people, I can be on two opposite ends of the spectrum. I can be very nice to you beyond belief (yet genuinely), or I can be a total bitch (and witch) that you probably wish you never crossed paths with. If I truly care about you though, its hard for me to be confrontational or try to upset you... no matter how many times you've screwed me over. This is not a good thing and I am trying to change it immediately. If I never gave a damn about you to begin with, its easy to turn my witch mode on. I don't recommend.

I like friends who enjoy good company and good conversations. If all you want to do is party it up and really don't give a damn about me, then you're not my friend.

If you truly cared about me, then showing that you do wouldn't be like twisting your arm. If I knew that one of my friends was going through hard times, then there is no doubt that I would show you that I am concerned. I know that there are some that I considered "friends" who read my blog religiously (you know who you are), but even seeing that when I go through some things that I do, a mere 5 second text is too much to ask from them. Its sad. If I know that you read your emails 24/7 but it takes you a week to respond to an email letting you know what's going on with me, then obviously I am not of importance and its best to stop faking the funk. If you respond to emails about going out immediately, I don't see how/why it would take you a week to respond to a message letting you know what's going on with me. All it took was a click on REPLY and typing a couple of words like, "I'm sorry to hear" or "hope things get better" or "take care". I am not being needy... but really, that's all it took. It would be one thing if you rarely check your email, but I know for a damn fact that your email is at your fingertips. Good luck when it comes to your time when things aren't so pretty. Maybe then you will realize that hearing from a friend that he/she cares during those hard times really makes a difference in how you feel. Again, good luck.

I talked to a friend who recently went through hard times about this issue and she and I feel the same way. Its during those hard times when you realize who your true friends are and who are there for you. Sad, but so true.

Oh... and with FB nowadays, it couldn't be easier. You see people's updates all the time and you manage to respond to the happy go lucky statuses but during the sad ones where it really matters, its too hard to make a 5 second response, right? Ha! That's funny. I know its lame how I am bringing FB statuses up and it sounds immature, right? But... am I wrong? You can respond to me talking about having a great time somewhere, but its too much to ask to show some concern, isn't it? (sarcasm)

Its sad that people you feel distant from or people you didn't consider close friends have the time and willingness to take initiative and show their concern and that they care... but those whom I considered close, don't. Sad.

If you have no time for me, what makes you think that I should cater to your schedule and your needs? Friendship is a two way street and I will meet you halfway. I'm done walking the whole road alone.

Stop with the comparing and competing. Friends need to be supportive of each other, not secretly wonder and wish for their "friend" to fail to make themselves look better. I thought this only happens amongst the old fogies, but I guess I was wrong. Its rather amusing to see, actually. I sit here and think, "are you freakin' kidding me?".

Oh. And please don't only come to me when you have drama. I've retired my old dramatic ways and have stepped off the drama queen's throne. I've realized that a lot of my drama wasn't mine to begin with, but I was only trying to defend my friends and help with their battles. I guess I was seen as the confrontational one who would stand up for my friends... even without hearing all sides of the story. Silly me. I really hope I have grown out of this. Pray for me.

I may seem like I don't know what's going on, but I do. I chose not to confront you because I cared about you and saw you as a true "friend". Silly me... you tricked me! I am writing this now because I feel like writing and I have some time to kill before I land.

If I struck any cords, then its safe to assume this was towards you. If you don't understand and are confused, just ask. Knowing some patterns, you will probably bring this up to other friends, and that's fine. If I struck their cords too, then assume they should do as well. I doubt you'd ask me yourself. Rather, you'd try to recruit and get a number of people to back you up because you usually don't fight your own battles. That's fine.
Come one, come all.

Okay... about to land and I need to shut off my phone. Darn! I had more to say too... but toodle loo!

NOTE: Not intended towards anyone in particular... but if the shoe fits, wear it. :)

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