August 25, 2007


My phone buzzed this morning at 7am like it usually does every morning. About ready to call my boyfriend to wake him up for the day like I always do, it hit me... its Saturday. I laid there in bed just staring up at the ceiling for a moment. I wondered, "what the heck am I going to do today?". Had my days become so routined that I can barely tell the difference between a weekend from a weekday anymore? Is there no more excitement to my weekends? What's wrong with me?

A friend of mine pointed out to me yesterday, "you've changed". Thinking that he meant I have changed in a negative way, I tried to get him to tell me how I've changed... and if it was such a bad thing. I know that I have switched in my nonstop partying every night that ends with a "y" ways for a more reserved and kick back and relax at home ways, but I don't see how thats such a bad thing. I guess we can't please everybody. When I was once upon a time a party girl, Thyda... everyone thought I was just that... a party girl. I hated that title and that image everyone perceived me as because I know that I am much much more than just that. Now that I am out and about only once a week, if not less, people give me crap for this "change" and have deemed me an old hag or a party pooper. What is a girl to do to avoid giving these misperceptions of me? I know that its safe to keep out of the extremes, but I thought that just going out on special occasions such as friends' birthdays or other celebrations would be moderate, but apparently, its not.

I know I should care less of what and how others perceive me, but how can I fully ignore it when I have some pride and it bothers me when people see me for who I am not? As much as one denies caring of what people think of them, you know we all do at some point... just to different extents.

So tell me.... am I wrong for changing? I thought changes were normal and we all go through it at times... but why do I get shit for changing? Hmmm...?

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