January 10, 2008

Venting?

Its been awhile since I've gotten a chance to fully write in my blog. Well, I have been posting things every now and then, but it doesn't express how I feel truly because 1. I don't have enough time, 2. Tried to refrain from getting too personal in my blogs because there have been times when it was used against me in not so pretty ways, 3. People always seem to think that I'm writing about them when they are probably the furthest thing from my mind. But you know what? Screw it? Its kind of pointless to have a blog if you can't really express yourself. If that was the case, I might as well just cut and paste passages on here that I've found through google, right? Or maybe a chain letter that everyone and their mamas are letting rest in their spam box? I don't know....

Anyway... work is really kicking me in the butt right now. Sometimes, I wish that I am not perceived the way I am/was. I think that people that I work closest to assume that I'll just KNOW certain things and they decide to skip the whole training/advising step. I mean, its true that I love to solve problems and figure things out on my own, but some things are just not meant for me to take my time to solve and figure out because when things don't turn out right or are delayed, its going to be my ass that was the reason for it to fail or delayed. In a way, I am flattered that they have so much belief in me, but at the same time... its pretty unfair. Oh well... hopefully I've already learned everything that I need to know that they assume that I just know. Did you follow? On the other hand, some things ARE my fault. I slack off too much for my own good... no denial there. I get distracted easily and it interferes with my work. I really need to focus and knuckle down... I have bills to pay and can't afford to be unemployed for even a day. Work hard, Thyda... work hard.

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