This past Christmas (yesterday) was incredibly hard for me. I am so used to being home with all of my family and the little ones, but this year was different. As much as I wanted to be home, I knew that it was too much to ask and want considering the time and finances. My family understands and they would hate for me to spend five times as much as I would if I was to fly out there any other day or week. Nevertheless, it was still very hard. I would cry after getting off the phone with any one of my family members because I'd miss them like crazy and it was just too much to bare. My emotions couldn't handle the feeling and still keep strong enough to fight the tears.
Next year though, it will be different and I am going to be home for Christmas no matter what. I will make it up to everyone then.
For everyone else, I really hope that you enjoyed your time with your loved ones and cherished every moment and every individual. Don't take them for granted and especially don't take the precious quality time for granted. Trust me.
On a lighter note, my Christmas this year was mellow and something that I am not used to... but it was still nice. Its always nice to see people smiling, laughing, and most importantly, happy.
My 17 year old niece came by for her presents later. Its amazing how much she had grown and matured over the years. Its hard to accept the fact that in only a few months, she will become a legal adult... scary thought. I may not express my love for my older nieces and nephews as much, but I still care for them and love them deeply. I just can't "mother" them like how I do with the younger ones because I never did to begin with when they were younger so its hard to just "mother" them at such an older age. I wouldn't want to anyway... teenagers are a lot different to deal with than kids. They know too much for their own good.
Family, I miss and love you... so so so much.