Distraught

I know that its been awhile since I last posted anything. I've learned and discovered so many new things this past week that I often didn't find time to post or I would start to post something but then I get distracted into doing something else and my post never gets done. I had so much to say during those times but with the clock ticking faster than I had hoped and wouldn't listen to my requests for it to take a break, I lost it all. I just wish that time can just stand still for just a few moments when you need it to so that you have some time to absorb, process, and deliver your information and thoughts. I guess I was born in either the wrong time or the wrong universe.

The slaying of the four Lakewood police officers shook me... my heart ached as I learned more about the heartless murder. Although I do not know the victims personally, I know what it is like to lose a loved one. To lose someone that you held so dearly to your heart in this way is such a tragedy and my thoughts and prayers go out to their loved ones.

I will not go into detail on the story because there are many articles written and reports that are more credible than mine and it also brings back painful thoughts trying to tell the story again. Please, if you are interested, it is a story worth researching and reading about. However, I am not afraid to express my own personal opinions about the nightmare that is unfortunately a reality. How someone can have such a cruel heart is beyond me and I am frightened to know that there are such people out there right now... everywhere. I understand that there are personal problems and possibly mental and health issues that drew people to do what they do, but that is where professional help comes in. They are there for a reason and living in a world with endless resources, this should not be an excuse or a reason to take issues so lightly.

The fact that innocent lives were taken and many other innocents were at risk of the same danger is what worries me the most. What also got me drawn deeper into this story and was at the edge of my seat during and even days after the incident(s) was the fact that it happened so close to home. I know that I need to face reality and understand that the world is not perfect nor will it ever be, but this one really hit home... literally. Knowing that the killer was still on the loose for days and could have been anywhere and learning later that he was no more than 10 miles away from my Parents' house at one point and only a few miles away from my relatives' houses at other points made me numb. I was scared, worried, and couldn't seem to do anything else but continue to follow the intense story and kept up with all the live updates continuously to make sure that my loved ones amongst others are safe. I know that being a thousand of miles away, there is not much that I can do but to relay the information that I know to those that are in danger so that they are aware.... and pray. I lost sleep and at random times cried thinking about what could happen and might be happening. I was told that I was paranoid and worried too much, but how could I not?

I was relieved to know that the killer was found and shot dead a few days later by a hero that could have easily been a fifth victim... but I can't help but continue to worry. There were people who were helping him run and hide even after learning that he in fact killed four innocent police officers. I understand that Family comes first and blood runs thicker than water, but knowing that the person did such a thing, you have to realize that there is no way out. Take responsibility for your own actions and you should help them do the same. The outcome may not be what you want, but those are the consequences that you'd have to face for what you've done. Life isn't fair... take the fallen innocents for example. If the man responsible, Maurice Clemmons, did the right thing and turned himself in or his family did, he might still be alive now and may be able to get his story out (although I don't think its very deserving, but others would probably get answers and not have to continue to wonder and guess for very long) and his family would not be facing these unnecessary convictions. I guess some would rather die than go back to prison, but that still doesn't make things better for those who cared about you. And to know that there are people out there who are supportive of him and his actions and would have the audacity to say that they would have helped the murderer and excuses him for what he'd done because he "had his reasons"... it scares me. Those people could also potentially be a menace to society.

In another case, a dead body was found in the Puyallup River in Fife, a small town that is next door to where my parents live. This was only a few days after the slaying of the officers, but I wonder if these cases are related in any way. Then to know that a black rose was left at the Tacoma Police Department by an unknown person got me even more paranoid. I don't know how others see it and I know we all see it differently, but black roses are not a good sign in my opinion. It is usually given to the dead or a sign of revenge. I take it as a threat, but I guess there are others who take it as a kind gesture to show support. That is strange to me because this rose was not left at the memorial that they had for the fallen nor was it left at the Lakewood Police Department... but at the Tacoma Police Department where the family and friends of the killer reside. Also, the killer had an intention of killing police officers... that was his main target. Am I the only one who can add up these pieces together and take it as a threat and am worried? Maybe I am looking too much into it or I am just paranoid, but I don't think that these little things should be bypassed or taken lightly after such a horrific event. But hey... what can I do? I am not there and I am not a professional investigator or detective (although I usually like to pretend that I am and believe that I would be a great one if I wasn't such a chicken). Either way, I just pray that this will be the end of it and will be a lesson to many. May it be a wake up call for all of us to understand that things and people we love the most can be taken from us without a warning or mercy. Lets not take the things and people we love for granted and just like the title of my blog, cherish the moments. Hold those you love closest to your heart and don't hesitate to tell them what they mean to you and thank them constantly because it never hurt anyone to show appreciation for you never know if you'd be given another opportunity to do so.

May the souls of the fallen rest in peace and may love, comfort, and thoughts be with their loved ones during these times.