I really hope that after I get married, I won't change one bit. I know that in my last entry or so, I said that there are some things I would change myself, but now that I think about it... I don't think I would. Okay fine, I'd like to be more organized and responsible, but other than that, I sort of love myself and my personality. :D Those who don't... well... that just really sucks for them.
New Years' Eve night was when I realized that I do have a great personality! My friends LOVE me and apparently, I can make them laugh. Ranny said that I'm her daily dose of laughter... and that makes me feel good! I once asked my friends why I am always the one that they pick on... and they simply told me that its because I can handle it better than anyone else. Not to boast... but I guess this is true... only to a certain extent though. I guess it really depends on who its coming from. People whom I love... they can tease and poke fun of me all they want and I'd love them no less. If I dislike someone or have a reason not to enjoy their comments (no matter if its positive or negative), I'd go buck wild on their ass... or else keep it inside and build a grudge. I'm great at holding grudges with people I dislike. They're lucky I have short term memory!
Back to what I was saying... I see that there are quite a bit of people who change after marriage. I'm not just talking about the fact that they are on lockdown either... I am talkin' about a full 180 turn around. Who triggered these thoughts? My Brother. Its sad to say... but I've always envisioned his future to be so different from what it is now. I guess I'm not really in a position to say whats right and whats wrong... whats better and whats worse. Its just... I didn't see any of this coming. Even so, I love him with all my heart. I just sort of wish he made different (I can't say better) decisions. Oh well. Embrace it, I guess.
Sometimes I wonder if Sam expects me to change. But honestly, I don't think he would really love me the way he does now if I was to change. He'd better love me for me and who I am now. If not, then he's in for a hell of a roller coaster. I am not about to change... I hope, I pray, and I wish.